Don't Date Anyone Till You'd Date Yourself


This is essentially the best piece of advice I have ever gotten and can ever give. 

Why? Because if you are not happy with yourself, then why would you be happy with someone else? 

I had a friend who broke up with a boyfriend of many years and she started dating almost straight away. But it was not just dating she wanted that soon to have a ring on her finger kind of relationship. The one you kind of need to take time to find. I was a bit worried and I asked her why, asked why she wasn't taking some time for herself, why such a rush to go into another relationship. Her response was that she wanted someone to make her feel wanted, beautiful and loved. I replied and asked her why she couldn't feel that way about herself and she said she didn't and needed someone else to feel it for her. 

How sad I thought but also boring for the other person If you are going into a relationship simply because you need to feel loved than you need to take a good hard look at yourself. How selfish is it to expect someone to love you when you don't love yourself? Why should they love if you don't? 

And how tiring would it be for your partner if you needed to be constantly reassured. Reassured they love you, reassured you're beautiful and reassured that they think you're beautiful. How tiring and annoying would that be because instead of them saying it because they want to, they are having to say it to keep you feeling vaguely happy and generally that type of relationship will not make you happy, not in the long term. Also would you want to have to reassure someone constantly that their loved instead of them trusting that you love them? 

Probably not right? 

So take a really long look at yourself. If you wouldn't date yourself do you really think now's a good time to date? Why not find a hobby or pick up a course or go see counsellor, do something to work through your unhappiness, your loneliness or whatever is going on inside your head and become the type of person you are happy with or even just happier with. Binge on body positivity books and self love posts. 

Do something and focus on yourself for a while, get your shit together essentially before you think of signing up to a dating service because when you get your shit together, you generally figure out what you really want so when you are actually start dating you are not going to simply go for the first person who may show you the attention but may not be the kind of person you want for the long run. 

So anyway, take your time, don't rush and learn to like yourself even if it's just a smidge before you start dating anyone else.. 

Love you later, 
Eros
 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Aphrodite and Ares: A Selfish Love Story

When one thinks of love stories it can be really easy to think of happy endings and sweet moments but not even the ancient stories when Gods and Goddesses were thought to walk amongst everyone were they wrapped so neatly in a bow. They were messy and big and did selfish things for love. None more so than the Greek Goddess of Love herself.... Once upon a time there was a Goddess. She was born of the sea and blood, said to be the most beautiful, the most desired and lovely of all the Goddesses. She was Aphrodite. She was said to be so beautiful that the other Goddesses grew jealous, angry and so the Queen of the Greek Gods Hera decided to force Aphrodite to marry her son Hephaestus the God of Blacksmiths, a God able to create beautiful things yet known to be the ugliest of them all and crippled with a limp. The marriage was not happy, childless with a husband who she felt did not deserve her she looked else where and her eyes quickly found Ares, the God of War. Tall, handsome, st...
Read more

Love

Love.  As humans we fight for it, we live for it, we die for it.  Some fall in to it as many times as they can, others are terrified of it and then there are the ones who find it once and never let it go.  It can be beautiful, terrifying, hate inducing or euphoric. It can be simple, it can be kind or it can be wild and mean.  Some is returned, others refuse it.  It can make you sane or drive mad.  It can change your entire life, or merely become apart of it.  It can make a quiet person loud and stun others into silence Every single person experiences it differently and it can be found in every tiny corner.  But we all seem to look for it, some successful others not.  This blog is for it all. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. The joyful and the sad. The wonder and the horror. But all for love. 
Read more

Nine Things To Keep Love Alive

Image
Hey Lovelies, Falling in love can feel so easy, the Honeymoon period is such a dream and then comes the part after. The part where roots are put down and you get down to the harder part of the relationship, the time when decisions are made, where you may move into together, decide to get married or start a family or travel but it if generally the part where you start to see more of who a person is and how they decide or do things in everyday life.  It's also the part where you can start to fall into a rut as you find your rhythm as a couple and start to fit your everyday lives together. Which is such a fun time in itself but can become monotonous as you fall into a groove or stop trying as much as you used to and sometimes love can fade as each of you don't do those little things to show that you're thinking of them or do anything special anymore. Which can lead the relationship to getting boring or upsetting as neither of you feel appreciated and loved and it s...
Read more